Friday, March 31, 2017

Inspiration to be slender and healthy

A street florist in Melbourne - it was Paris-worthy in its beauty!




We went away last week on holiday to Australia.  While my previous Friday blog post was being published, I was waking up in Adelaide after spending a day in the Barossa Valley tasting (sniffing) wines and getting ready to fly to Sydney, having already been in Melbourne and looking forward to the Gold Coast after Sydney.

I know, it was a lot of travel to pack into nine days!  My brother works for one of the airlines and he has me and my husband listed on his staff travel list.  His free staff travel expired at the end of March and he offered it to us to use up, so who were we to turn down such generosity?

We did tons of walking – 22,000 steps on our first day – and what this madcap but fun trip showed me is that I am fully committed to being a healthy person as I age – while still enjoying myself, of course :)

More travel is something that a lot of people do when they retire, so we saw plenty of retirees at airports and walking around tourist spots with maps like we were.  Some were fit and trim, enjoying their vacation, and others… were not.  It was awful to see people who were incapacitated literally by their own unhealthiness.

I’m not talking about things out of our control, because stuff happens when you get older, I know that.  And I also know that it’s just rotten luck if you pick up a bug while away.  But what we weigh or how healthy we are from lifestyle choices we make is absolutely within our control.

Seeing how unpleasant travel was for some people made me recommit to keeping my good eating habits and ignoring the bad ones that sometimes tap me on the shoulder saying ‘remember the good times we used to have?’

Even though I am more than happy with how I approach food and eating these days, that voice still pops up on a regular basis.  It used to get the better of me, but now I just ignore it or put it off for a few hours (until my next meal, then it goes away) and, amazingly, it gets easier each time.

On our Barossa Valley trip we met a retired couple from New York City.  Talking to them was honestly like stepping into a Woody Allen movie – those accents!  I swooned.  I talked to the wife quite a bit and it was so much fun getting to know someone who is a born and bred New Yorker.

They had just visited New Zealand and she asked me how the people who lived in remote houses in the middle of nowhere got their groceries, while I asked her how people shopped in Manhattan for groceries, a fridge…  I told her they probably shopped once or twice a month (‘but what about the milk?’ ‘they’ll freeze it’) and she told me ‘everyone delivers in New York’.

She and her husband were very trim and healthy and they showed me a photo of a childhood friend of his, whom they had visited while in Australia.  They hadn’t seen each other for decades.  What struck me about this photo though, was that he could have been his father, not his classmate.  They were exactly the same age but his friend looked twenty years older.

This photo was one of the things that got me to thinking about aging as well as I can, because while my NYC couple were having fun and travelling all over on their eight-week trip, their friend, the poor guy looked like he needed a walking frame and a respirator.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am totally not judging, these experiences simply highlighted choices I have made in the past.  I know how unhealthy I have felt from making bad food choices, letting my sweet tooth run the show and also when I was younger and used to party more (lots of cocktails and even the odd cigarette a long time ago).  It shows me there is plenty in my control – what I eat and drink, whether I smoke, if I choose to make exercise part of my daily routine.

It can be hard to get enthused about ‘being healthy’ because it sounds so joyless sometimes; it’s all about what you have to cut out.  But what about reframing it to supporting your physical body so it can support you for the decades of life still to come?

It’s a bit like setting up a savings account.  If you don’t have a goal for this account, all you can see is money being taken away from you that you can’t spend right now.  But if you have a compelling goal; if you can imagine yourself turning the key on your very own home, it’s exciting to save that money and watch it grow.

That’s how I approach my health now, with more of a long-term view, instead of griping to myself that I should be able to eat potato chips every day because they taste good.

What about you?  Do you find it easy to think long-term?  Or do you need to trick and cajole yourself along like I do?  There’s no shame in that; whatever works I say :)

Have a great week, and picture yourself as super-awesome in 10, 20, 30 years time!

Fiona

PS.  See what a reader had to say about my newest book Thirty Slim Days (thank you!):

‘This is the best weight loss book I have ever read (and trust me, there have been a few...).  Fiona seemed to get right to the heart of why we overeat and offered numerous thoughtful solutions and ways to change our way of thinking about food.
I'm only halfway through it (started reading it yesterday) but am already feeling so motivated to tackle my eating habits and weight once and for all using many of the tips in this book.’

You can read a sample of this book by clicking the cover image to ‘Look Inside’.  You can also receive the Kindle version at a 70% discount when you order the print copy.  That way you can start reading straight away while your print copy is delivered.

42 comments:

  1. I love the analogy of treating it like a savings account. I can relate to that! One area I really want to improve is my flexibility. I want to be more flexible as I age and it feels so good to stretch.

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    1. I agree Stephanie, flexibility is so important, but I forget about it most of the time which is not good. I'm so glad I've bullied myself into going back to yoga because all that stretching feels wonderful afterwards.

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  2. What a wonderful break you have had, Fiona! And 22,000 steps. I'd be on my knees if I attempted a quarter of that! But there again, I'm not in my 40s but my 70s. Today I managed to jig around a bit with our little grandson (almost 4 years old) while I played an LP record (Venice in Peril). Yes, one of those old things made from vinyl! These aren't retro to us, but what we still have and enjoy (along with CDs of course.) My eating habits have always been towards the healthy end of the spectrum, but that hasn't stopped me putting on weight as I've aged, mainly because I can't exercise it off (arthritis), or walk it off as much as I would like. But hey, I've had breast cancer, gall bladder surgery, hysterectomy ... and I'm still here (and intend stopping a while longer!) so I'm not going to fret too much, but simply to continue to try and eat healthily and to enjoy life.
    Margaret P
    www.margaretpowling.com

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    1. We did have a marvellous break, thank you Margaret.

      I just switched on Venice in Peril on YouTube - it's fabulous, so jaunty! LPs are what the true music lovers listen to these days, but of course back before CDs they were just what you played :)

      All I can say to the inspirational Margaret P is You go girl!

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    2. Wowzer! Glad you have enjoyed Venice in Peril! I actually won that record as part of a 5-records prize in a phone-in local radio general knowledge quiz in the early 1980s! We love our LPs. We didn't part with them when CDs came along. I just wish I had my EPs (Extended Play - two tracks preside, 4 in total) or 45s as they were known, and I'm old enough to have had 78s, the old shellac records from the 1950s ... wish I had those. Even Elvis recorded on 78s!
      Classical is really my bag, but I like all kinds of music, but very little modern stuff, i.e. post Abba and Neil Diamond.
      Margaret P

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    3. I had a few EPs in the 80s too :) We had a few 78s at home also when I was younger, but mostly 45s - the small singles that were my mum's I think, but I also bought them.

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  3. Like you, I have a long-term view. I will suffer today for an hour or two (and Pilates class was truly torture!) in order to feel good tomorrow and years down the road. I do find it very hard to get out moving, though, because I work from home and my commute is about 20 steps. It's a big reason why New Yorkers are thinner and fitter than most Americans--they walk. Even taking the subway can require walking five or six blocks.
    As for food, we buy no junk and we cook everything from scratch. Since January, I have made a big effort to cut out added sugar. That has really changed things. No change in weight (probably from not going running during a rainy spell), but I sure feel better.
    I so appreciate your approach to weight and diet. A splurge should be just that--rare and intensely enjoyed--and everything else should be about being healthy. If you eat healthy food in reasonable quantities (with a rare splurge), the weight should adjust itself. If such a thing as "foods that burn fat" existed, nobody would be overweight. Thank you for sanity.

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    1. I know what you mean about a short commute. Now that I am lucky enough to work from home, if I don't go for a walk around the neighbourhood I might only do 3,000 steps if I'm lucky, a bit more if I am doing housework that day.

      That's my only concern about moving to the country, that I can't just walk out my gate to exercise, because the roads have no footpaths and the cars go by fast. Apart from the concentration of people, I would happily live in a big city if it meant walking everywhere. I know, I can't have it both ways :)

      For me too, sugar is the biggest determining factor in how well (and trim) I feel. It's my biggest 'thing'.

      I would also love to know your first name or at least an initial. I feel rude responding to you without greeting and I can't find a name on your beautiful website. Merci!

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    2. Hi Fiona! Your trip sounds fabulous! My husband and I recently moved out to the country from a suburbian neighborhood with sidewalks. The country road we live on has no sidewalks and is really narrow and people fly down the road so it is pretty dangerous to walk. What I do is walk the perimeter of our property. (we have two acres). About one acre of is wooded and it is like such a nice nature walk. It started out as showing the dog where the perimeter of our property is and became out "nature trail". We even plan to put in a nice bench along the way in the very back and plant lots of pretty flowers along the way. So, if you end with with a good size piece of land, that's an option. Have a great day!

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    3. Excellent thought Carla! Your life sounds wonderful :) I will definitely need to get a dog though, tell the cats and my husband.

      My family had a little dog who has been gone for a few years now, but he would do a perimeter walk of my dad's property every day by himself, like clockwork! So cute.

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  4. Fiona I have been reading your blog for over a year now and I think this is one of my favourites. I am 48 and in the throes of (early) menopause with the insomnia, hot flushes and new kilo or so of fat around my middle that I cannot get rid of. This extra weight got me quite down on myself last year and I gave away several slim fitting garments that simply weren't my friends any more. I've since realised I need to look at the big picture - accept that these wretched hormonal changes are here to stay and that so long as I continue to eat healthily (with the occasional treat as life is too short to never enjoy a taste of anything delicious) and exercise daily I can be the best version of me. You are so true when you say 'remember the good times we had'. I burst out laughing at that sentence. Bad habits are always there waiting for you to let them back in. Yes, we will all 'slip' from time to time but the important thing is to realise it, acknowledge it and then get back onto the healthy path. Both of my grandmothers lived full, happy and healthy lives and lived alone in later years. I have longevity in my genes and intend to be healthy for as long as I live. I detest the feeling of my clothes getting tight on me :)

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    1. I agree Lara, all we can do is work with our circumstances the best we can. With food and treats, I remind myself that it's what I do most of the time that matters, not the things I do some of the time. If a treat becomes a regular thing, I rein myself in. Or, if I have a treat only every once in a while, I enjoy it.

      Good for you getting rid of the tight clothes. All they do is make you grumpy while you're wearing them :)

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  5. Be thankful for your good health, talent, and beauty. Life can turn on a dime, and often does. You have no way of knowing what other people may have gone through, or are going through in their lives, that may be affecting their appearance. Please try having kind thoughts instead of judging their appearance and what you think caused it.

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    1. Susie, the last thing I want to do is upset anyone, that was certainly not my intention. I apologise that my post came across that way.

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    2. Susie,

      Not trying to start a war of words with you as my comment is also for anyone who shares your sentiment on this post.

      If you have read any of her other posts, you will know that Fiona is one of the most grateful and thankful person in the world. We all have choices in our lives, despite whatever circumstances we are subjected to, yes, even if you are dignosed with terminally-ill cancer, diabetes or natural-born disability/illness. This means that there is a certain degree of control over our appearance regardless of who you are if you do not succumb to a defeatist attitude. Most folks don't and will never look like an Olympian and no one expects that, but most of us can discern when someone is far from being fit and healthy.

      "Judging" is not a dirty word or a bad action; we are after all paid for good judgements at work. In fact, you are yourself judging Fiona for judging, and this can go on forever. Parents need to make good judgement calls for their young children and a tourist needs to make good judgement calls when entering a taxi or an unfamiliar establishment. It's an important tool that ensures our survival as humans. We all do it every single day.

      Instead of seeing Fiona's post in a negative light, you've decided to become offended, and that says more about youself than anything. No one is picking on out-of-shape folks but shielding them behind words such as "kindness" or "compassion" is an oversimplification of the real issue and doing them a true disservice. It is also a cowardly move.

      We are simply sharing our observations of others and how we feel about ourselves from such observations. How do you know that we are completely ignorant of others' sufferings and personal stories? Such presumptions are the equivalents of what you so readily accused, Susie.

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  6. I thought this was a great post, Fiona. Very inspirational. I don't think you were being judgmental at all. Anything can happen to any of us at anytime. Unfortunately, there are more and more people who have self-inflicted their difficulties with their health and I know that's what you were getting at.

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  7. Such great inspiration as usual Fiona. I love. Adelaide - such a beautiful city laid out in the form of a union jack! I totally agree that as we age we should be the best version of ourselves that we can! Aisling x

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    1. Hi Aisling, I didn't realise Adelaide is set out like a Union Jack - just like Martinborough. The coach driver on our day trip told us loads, but not that.

      Yes! Be our best version, an achievable thing I think.

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  8. I truly feel physical exercise, especially walking, is the best way to stay young. My husband and I quit smoking at 45 and we started walking and hiking. I also workout out at home every morning, I tried the gym but it wasn't for me. You can find great free workouts on YouTube these days. I balance days of stretch, strength training and cardio. I am now 53 and I weigh what I weighed in high school with a flat stomach & toned arms and can hike for miles. I was never really overweight, but not in great shape. I think almost anyone can and should find something they can stick with any enjoy, not just for vanity sake but to be able to stay active as long as they can.

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    1. Wow, that's fantastic - you are inspiring me to keep up with my yoga and strength training and not going back to just walking.

      Congrats on quitting smoking together too - that's a huge achievement (and with the price of cigarettes you are better off in finances as well as health!)

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    2. Thanks Fiona, the cost was what made my husband want to quit now we can be active together and yes, strength and stretch are just as important as cardio for so many reasons Anyway I thought I should reply as myself...I was anonymous because I was on my husbands computer

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    3. Nice to see your name, Linda :)

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  9. I love your idea about "reframing". That is so very helpful in approaching weight loss and healthy habits. I am a tad overweight (nothing that my doctor is concerned about), but not my best self. It used to take an act of God to get me up to exercise. I hate the gym. But I love to dance and discovered a Zumba Gold class at our local center. Now I can't wait to go, see my new friends and enjoy the class. In addition to the Zumba class, I added an aerobics/weight training class which also incorporates a little dance. So, I guess my point is, that if you reframe your attitude, you might find a way to change, "I have to exercise," into "I love my exercise choice.It is such a good time."

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    1. I feel the same way, Kristien, that my weight was never perilous to my health, but I didn't feel my best.

      I love reframing things! Glad you are enjoying your zumba class :)

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  10. Might I add a PS, please, something which is more appropriate for your blog, Fiona, than my own right now.
    It is this: today husband and I attended the memorial service of a dear friend's mother. At the wake, held in a lovely hotel with marvellous sea views, and chosen by my friend because her mother had had a beach hut for summer use just below this lovely hotel, I looked around at all the people, and 95% were elderly. Well, not elderly, they were old!
    Husband looked at me and said, "I think, at 72,you are the youngest one here, with the exception of your friend's children!" So I replied that No, I thought there were some women younger than me, so he said, "But they don't look it!"
    That was a lovely compliment from husband, but then I thought, why do I look younger, if indeed I do? I think the answer is that while I don't spend a lot of clothes, I have tried to steer away from what I call the elderly-lady-look. Only young women can wear that preppy pleated skirt with flat shoes look, if you are older you really do need to take a bit more effort, starting with a really good hair cut, rather than just having the fringe and what I call lady-librarian hair cut, plain as a pikestaff. Makeup is a given, the skin has changed colour by the time you're post-60 and if you're not careful it will look sallow, it needs a bit of help. Then a darned good bra is another essential unless you want to look as if you have a marrow stuffed up your jumper, hovering just about the waist. And get some new clothes. I think I looked younger because I make sure I visit the hairdresser every 5 weeks, I have my hair highlighted, I use makeup (but don't plaster it on) and I bought my dress last autumn, it is only 5 months old. I think most had put on outfits that might've been fashionable (if they were ever 'fashionable'!) perhaps 15 years ago. Yes, I have a few old pieces in my wardrobe, but they are quirky things, cardigan coats with subtle embroidery to wear over jeans, but in a navy lace dress, with navy suede shoes, a navy leather vintage bag, and a new navy slim look coat, I felt ten years younger than my actual age. Whether I actually looked it remains to be seen, but I am determined not to look like a typical old lady, and if I don't look like one, hopefully, I won't feel like one, either!
    Sorry this has been a long PS, and I appreciate I have been able to afford to buy these new things and visit the hairdresser regularly, but it is sad when women of a certain age give up on being stylish, for I'm sure they were stylish when young. I'm too young to look a frump!
    Margaret P
    www.margaretpowling.com

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    1. A marrow stuffed up your jumper - soooo funny!!! I love your 70+ fashion inspiration. You are inspiring me not to be lazy :)

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    2. Margaret, thank you for perfect advice. I should say that you look much younger than your age. When I saw your picture in your blog I thought that you are in early 60s.

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    3. Love this post, Fiona! And Margaret, I think you nailed it. I watched Elle last week with the stunning Isabelle Huppert and one take away was as I age, it is worth every penny to invest in my hair and make sure it is sleek and kept up. In the past, when I was younger, messy hair was my thing but I think as our faces age, our hair needs to grow a bit neater. And yes, some makeup and how we dress. for sure. :)

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    4. Margaret your husband sounds like such a sweetie - and being a regular reader of your post I know that he is :)
      Your comments about dressing well and taking extra care with grooming as we age is important. But I think that good underwear is important at every age. I was recently having lunch with girlfriends, each of them in their mid forties and busty, and they we're all discussing the importance of wearing a bra that gives good support. I sometimes see women who are nicely dressed but their 'saggy bits' have let them down. A professionally fitted bra is flattering and comfortable and can be much more flattering. Regardless of age.

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    5. I hope you won't mind, Fiona, my responding to these lovely comments here, on your own blog? But I think we're all emailing friends, and it's so lovely that we can meet here and discuss things like this, isn't it?
      First, thank you to Maria for your kind comment that I look younger than my age (73 in September). Well, perhaps on a good day with a following wind, as the saying goes!
      I believe in having a good hair cut. Also, as we age, long hair which has wiry grey hairs in it, can look ageing. However, some hairdressers don't cut hair that is short very well and one can end up looking like what I describe as "Bingo lady", with it shorn at the back in a rather masculine way, or highlighted so that it looks "nicoltine blond". As I have grey hair I want more silvery, lighter highlights, not a contrast with the grey, but an enhancement of the grey. Make-up, too, must change and I now use a grey brow pencil so that my brows don't contrast with the grey.
      But thank you, all three, for your kind comments, and yes, Lara, husband is a sweetie (well he must be, to put up with me!)
      Margaret P

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    6. Kristi, I never thought about that. I always wondered by that carefree, tangled hair look was terrible on me now but it makes total sense how you have explained it. Sleeker is better at a certain age.

      Margaret, far be it from me to stop you responding to your many fans :)

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    7. Gosh you guys are so funny, I can't stop laughing. And laughter keeps you young, so thank you.

      Lara - 'saggy bits'
      Margaret - 'bingo lady' 'nicotine blonde'

      So good!

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    8. You might like to add to your new vocabulary, Fiona: Horlicks- or Porridge- coloured outfits, the colour of clothes favoured by many elderly men (and some elderly women) and which they'd never have worn when young! I simply won't allow husband to wear such things.
      Margaret P

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  11. Fiona, thank you for sharing your thoughts on the topic. I agree that our health and youthful look is our responsibility and I should say it requires some work and discipline. I think that like you I have rather healthy eating habits, partly installed by my mother and later supported by what I learned during my life. I also have had an exercise regime that I've been following for many years bur since I retired two years ago I noticed that it became easier for me to skip a day or two of exercise or eat something unhealthy. However at my age (57) my body reacts immediately when I breach healthy habits. When I don't exercise for more than 2-3 days my back starts disturbing me and unhealthy food causes other unneeded effects. So if when I was younger maintaining healthy habits was a choice, not a necessity, now I HAVE to do this for better life quality.

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    1. What a great reminder Maria, that we might have been able to take our health for granted when younger, but as we age we need to take care of ourselves as a necessity not a nice-to-do.

      Maybe likening ourselves to a beautiful vintage motorcar that we don't want to fall into rusty disrepair!

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    2. Fiona, how interesting that you used this comparison. Lately I've been thinking about my age as "vintage" :).
      PS: I should add that being a Christian I feel that it's my duty to treat my body with respect and take care of it since it's a God creation that he entrusted to my care.

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    3. 💝💖 I think of our body as a vessel that carries our soul around 💗

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  12. This is always a tough topic. We all look around for models of healthy aging...and there are many examples of the opposite (as you note). My best friend is morbidly obese. He is charming, thoughtful, and loves to travel. But, alas, the obesity (and all the health problems that accompany it) makes this very, very difficult. I think that he deeply regrets the many small decisions that have resulted in this very big problem. His advice echoes your thoughts here--prevention is the best course of action.

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    1. It's sad for your friend that this is holding him back, Kolleen, but we all have our own path to travel and our own choices to make.

      I know it is harder for some than others to keep a healthy weight, I think there definitely is a hereditary factor with how predisposed we are to addictive eating and how we hold onto weight etc.

      It's all part of dealing with what we are given to learn in this lifetime.

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  13. I always appreciate your point of view and observations, Fiona. After reading your books and those you've recommended, I'm newly committed to being the best I can be health-wise. I'm in my early 60's and hoping to retire this year, and I'm keenly aware that my actions have everything to do with the way I feel and look. I don't aspire to be model-thin anymore, I just want to feel good and have the energy to do the things I want to do. Thank you for this post - you wrote some things that I think about a lot.

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    1. That's exactly it Pam, feeling as good as you can for as long as you can. There are (junky) foods that I still wish I could eat but I know that I don't want the unhealthiness and yucky feeling that comes with them. I'd rather feel vibrant and happy.

      'Le Project Retirement' could be fun :) - mapping out all the ways you will be fit, healthy and fabulous and how you are going to support that, setting up new routines etc.

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Merci for your comment. Wishing you a chic day!