Thursday, January 19, 2017

Are you 100% chic?






I read an excellent article about Caroline de Maigret, Chanel ambassador, author, model.  In it she talks about her new blog/website in partnership with Chanel.  I particularly loved this quote from Caroline about her new website:

‘It was very important to me that the platform shows that style comes from everything that builds you – that’s why I could not talk about fashion only.  What makes your style is your personality, the books you read, the music you listen to, the movies you watch’.

Are you hearing that in Caroline’s French accent?  Me too!  You can read the whole article here.

Her description of personal style is exactly how I feel as well.  It’s also why I write about many different facets of living a chic life; not just clothing and outfits, which is what many of us think of when we hear the word ‘chic’.

Caroline’s statement also made me think about my own choices in books, music, movies, clothing, perfume etc.  I have one side of me who is Parisian chic to a ‘T’ – Chanel no. 5, neutral classic clothing, close-to-natural hair colouring, makeup that is sheer and natural.

And the other side?  Well, sometimes she’s a hot mess.  There’s my questionable taste in celebrity fragrances, love of reality television from time to time, and my enjoyment of chick lit and tacky books (I picked up Holly Madison’s book from the library discard pile, although I haven’t yet read it!)

Plus, I recently received a big box of goodness from Bath and Body Works.  I discovered their yummy stuff in Hawaii when we visited three years ago, and despite being more than twice the age of the customers there, I stocked up large.

The Parisian side of me says ‘get rid of all those unchic things out of your life, it’s not what you’re about’, whereas the other side of me says ‘it would be boring to be all buttoned up and perfect, I love to have fun’.

I do actually think about this a lot (I know, I need to get a hobby), and it’s a tough call to know whether I am expressing my personality or whether I am giving in to base levels of ‘whatever’ and the more I lower myself the more I will want of them.

Kind of like junk food.  It’s a well-known fact that the more you have of something, you more you want of it.  So, if you start eating fast food every day for lunch, you will end up craving it every day for lunch.  Alternatively, if you start eating chicken salad every day for lunch, you will want that more, and even miss it if you have something junky.

I’ve found this with my meals.  I used to always have toast for breakfast and thought fruit was so boring (I barely ate any fruit from week to week).  Then, I started adding fruit to my breakfast and now it has taken over so that I have fruit with raw nuts for breakfast and I love it.  On the one or two days a week when I have eggs instead, I really miss my fruit and have to have some later in the day.  Craving fruit!  Is it really me?

So that’s my thought about the bad taste side of me.  If I indulge in it, it will grow bigger and crowd out the chic stuff.

But if I enjoy it and keep it in it’s proper place, not letting it become too big a influence in my life?  I think that’s doable too.  Like a dash of hot sauce on a dish to pep it up (I don’t do that, but my husband and father-in-law do).

I have read that French women welcome a touch of whimsy or bad taste into their outfit or décor, and it works for me to do that with my personal style.

I think it would be so boring if we all had the same carbon copy white shirt, red lipstick, current contemporary novel and watched the same French sub-titled movie.  I love all of things, of course (except perhaps red lipstick, my certain age mouth prefers to be dressed in something natural-toned, and I play up my eyes instead, a la Day Four in Thirty Chic Days).

I’m going to go the 80/20 way.  I am happy to be 80% chic and 20% hot sauce.

What about you – are you 100% chic?  No bad taste at all?  I’d love to hear how you handle the hot mess side of you – ignore and hope she’ll go away?  Or embrace and be happy that she zazzs up your style.  You’ll get extra points if you share some of your own bad taste examples :)

fiona

PS.  If you haven’t read my book Thirty Chic Days yet, I’d love you to!  It’s all about putting on your French-tinted spectacles and approaching your life in a whole new way.  My approach is to make little improvements every day that are fun and easy.

Life is too short to do all the things we ‘should’ do – where’s the enjoyment in that?  I prefer to make mini upgrades by enticing myself along in an elegant and pleasurable way.  It’s easier to stick to and you get better results too.

You can read Thirty Chic Days on Kindle or in paperback, and it’s available on Amazon here.

42 comments:

  1. “Vulgarity is a very important ingredient in life. I’m a great believer in vulgarity—if it’s got vitality. A little bad taste is like a nice splash of paprika. We all need a splash of bad taste—it’s hearty, it’s healthy, it’s physical. I think we could use more of it. No taste is what I’m against.”
    Diana Vreeland

    I don't think of the less chic side of me as a hot mess, for one thing. :) Feeling guilty or bad because I watch the occasional true crime marathon? Nope. There are weeks when I don't turn the set on at all. Reading a trashy romance in the bathtub? Why not? I don't do it every day. I remember seeing something where French women were asked what word they associated with chocolate cake. They picked celebration. You don't have a celebration every day, so when you do, enjoy the heck out of it.

    I think if you focus too hard on "Is everything in my life chic?" then you will eventually squeeze out your own personality. There's no room for the person who crochets funny hats for hamsters, or who does canine search and rescue (being chic in the woods isn't your priority when you're looking for lost toddlers).

    I don't think you should overindulge in things that you know don't make you happy, but if you love Jessica Simpson's perfume, then wear it in good health. If you watch the occasional KUWTK show because you're enjoying it, then do so. The 80/20 rule is a good one.

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    1. That was the quote which was in the back of my mind, I think, Aurora! Thanks for sharing it.

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  2. Hi Fiona! I think you are right on track with the 80-20 idea. Your "hot-mess" side is what gives you an actual personality and character. Who wants to be some drone walking around? and who says Chanel no.5 is chic anyway? Chanel no.5? I would bet money your husband fell in love with the 20% side. Just saying.....hope I didn't offend anyone.

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    1. Haha, I'm sure no-one will take offence. I asked him if it was the 20%, and he said he fell in love with my 100%. He's a diplomatic Libran :)

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  3. LOL now I need to read that Holly Madison book. I was just thinking about this topic today, believe it or not - I listen to "true crime" podcasts while I'm cleaning house and doing laundry and I started wondering if I'd somehow be a better person if I listened to chic podcasts and gardening podcasts...but I love my true crime podcasts. I'm a hot mess today for sure: reading 1980s nostalgia retro blogs and eating pork rinds and french onion dip :( (at least it's low carb). Thanks for the cheerful reality check, Fiona, it's good to know everyone else isn't 100% chic all of the time!

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    1. It's called Down the Rabbit Hole, Amy! I don't know if it's any good yet... I don't have a high bar set for it though.

      Pork rinds and dip with a true crime marathon: excellent :) I've never heard of those blogs, I'm sure I would love them!

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    2. The first 80s retro blog I googled had Boy George as their icon/thumbnail. My favourite of the time!

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  4. French women wouldn't be interesting if they were all the same. While it seems to us that it is all about the outside, it is also about the inside. We don't become chic through skincare, diet or neutral clothing. When we care about ourselves enough,
    we want to be as healthy and attractive as possible. "Chic" is about self-respect.
    The other 20% makes you fun and different. I love old Broadway musicals and mystery series.

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    1. I always enjoy your point of view, Madame, thank you :)

      'Chic is about self-respect'. I love this!

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  5. I'm probably 80% hot mess, and 20% chic! One example, is that I just finished a lunch of meatball sandwich, chips, and a coke. I know, I know, pretend you didn't hear that :)

    Also, just the other day, my daughter and I were window shopping and stopped to admire a very stereotypical French chic outfit, you know, the striped top, jeans, ballerinas, and trench coat. I told her I had every piece of that outfit - sans the striped shirt (I don't really like stripes on me) - and then I realized I was glad I didn't have the complete French iconic ensemble because I would be a walking cliche'. I definitely don't want that, I want to be true to myself, and I'm not going to force myself to wear or like something just because it is said to be chic. I take French chic basics as a starting point, the foundation for my wardrobe, but I inject it with some "me" in there too.

    Caroline de Maigret is charming. I saw her on a Lisa Eldridge makeup tutorial on YouTube. She seemed a bit self conscious of not being able to wear her bangs down for the video and hurried to put them back down again when she could. I thought that was revealing. Even the most lauded French muses have insecurities, they are human! It was refreshing.

    D.

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    1. I just mis-read your percentages - so funny!

      I love a stripe myself (can't stop wearing that dress in the photo, as soon as it's clean it's back on me), and I know what you mean about a walking cliche.

      I do always admire ladies who wear very classic ensembles like that though!

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    2. I'll have to look up the Lisa Eldridge video too. I love the video of Caroline (it's a humorous one) where she rides her scooter across the road to pick up a baguette, then rides back again. I've watched it quite a few times :)

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    3. You look gorgeous in striped tops, I wish I were more comfortable wearing them! It's the thing where I see other women wearing something, say like nail polish (I don't wear any - too high maintenance for me, I already have too much maintenance to keep up with!), or a pencil skirt. It looks beautiful on them, and then when I try it, I feel uncomfortable for whatever reason.

      I, too, admire ladies wearing classic ensembles like you said. It always catches my eye when I see it, and I think, "gorgeous, and classy." Sometimes I will even go up and tell the person. I think I'm just too self conscious when I try it, so I always leave at least one or two items from said outfit missing. But it is strange how if I do see someone else wearing the total look, I will be staring in admiration!

      D.

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  6. At my great age I have come to the conclusion that the only way is to be ourselves. I have never strived to be chic, or to dress in a particular way, since I was about 16 and went to Germany on a student exchange and found the continental way of life so different from here in the UK, the girls didn't wear full-skirted floral dresses that were popular in the summer of 1960, or pleated skirts and blouses, or what we called shirtwaists, but they wore linen dungarees (something we'd never worn), pale blue jeans and, what struck us, instead of stilettos, the 'heels' of the day, they wore wooden sandals, something we'd not seen until then, and that is when Dr Scholl sandals became popular over here. I bought a pair myself (in Germany, not Scholls, and found them very uncomfortable, but I thought I was the cat's pajamas wearing them!) The girls were not overly made-up either (eye-liner was popular at the time, with 'Cleopatra' flicks at the corners of the eyes) and we wanted to look like them. Indeed, I was told I looked very similar to Juliet Prowse, the actress/dancer in the lovely Elvis film, GI Blues, so I played up to that, made up my eyes to look even more similar, and tinted my hair as well.
    Since then we've had decades of different styles and I trust that I now have my own style - smart/casual clothes in understated colours - navy, grey, cream, black - with which I put pretty scarves for colour.
    I don't read anything to be chic, or listen to music to be chic, indeed I like all kinds of books and all kinds of music (perhaps not ultra-modern as, and I know all older people say this but it just happens to be true, it all sounds the same and most female artists in particular when they sing sound like someone has trodden on the cat.) I love Mozart and Elvis, Beethoven and Andy Williams, Mahler and jazz, Sibelius and 1940s big band, oratoria and Sinatra. However, I do try and know about current trends, know who the designers are, even if I don't adopt their styles. I hope, at my great age as I say, that I am simply a unique individual even if I am not particularly chic.
    Margaret P

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    1. Margaret,

      From reading your comments, I think you are very elegant!

      I agree when you say that current and particular singing style sounds, "like someone has trodden on the cat."

      That Chanel commercial with The Inkspots playing in the background from the 1980's got me interested in music from the 1930's and 1940's. I think it was for Chanel No.5 perfume.

      D.

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    2. I think you are rather more chic than you realise, Margaret! You always have insightful comments and dress with elegance and panache from the photos I have seen of you. You exude your own English-style chic :)

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    3. Thank you, kindly, she said! I even once had a truly English Burberry trench, but it wasn't a practical garment at all. Very costly and when it rained, it simply soaked through the material and wet my clothes underneath. Waterproof? Non! Non! Non! But, oh, it was so elegant!
      Now I have a Jules red trench and a Marks & Spencer navy trench (rather a short one, just about knee level, slightly above, ideal with indigo jeans.)
      The 3-CD pack of Pennies from Heaven, the TV series of long ago, has wonderful 1930s/1940s music.
      Margaret P
      www.margaretpowling.com

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  7. I agree with your thoughts on this and I think 80/20 is a perfect balance. I love all things chic but I definitely have questionable taste with something things :) I'm sure it would be much more chic to read a classic novel rather than a sappy chic lit book but I love them anyway. I'm not ashamed that I'm such a philistine when it comes to arts and culture and I don't feel guilty for my pleasures. When my husband and I started dating, I remember he thought it was an endearing quality that I had such girly girl tastes in books, movies, tv. Those little quirks are what make you you.

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    1. I'm reading a chic lit Kindle book right now that I'm enjoying - Girl on a Plane. It's light, escapist fun, just perfect for an enjoyable read (http://amzn.to/2iDU5TB). I love chic lit so much, sappy or otherwise!

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  8. The moment I finished reading this post, I sprang out of my bubble bath (where I was reading on my phone, oops!) and turned on my laptop to comment on this post. You beautifully described a struggle I've been having for the last two years. I dream of being a chic Parsienne, but at the same time know that who I am is much more complex than the idealized French Girl I have in my head.

    Truthfully, trying to be my French Girl led to some pretty unpleasant professional problems. Working in a Millennial workplace with very casual people, I made myself an outcast by attempting to be overly proper and chic. My attempts to be more refined were taken as me thinking I knew better than everyone else. It was only when I embraced my 20% hot sauce that I developed better work relationships.

    I hesitate to think of my 20% as junk food though. What most people consider junk food has no nutritional value and merely adds pounds and remorse to your life. Instead I think of my 20% as a truly decadent dessert--something that isn't good for me to overly indulge in, but just the right amounts makes my life richer and my meals more complex.

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    1. I usually don't comment twice but I just had to mention that I really enjoyed reading your post. I struggle with this too sometimes - what I think is chic, sometimes other people see it as being too prim or "prissy." I don't want to come off as too formal but at the same time, of course I want to be myself. It's a delicate balance!

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    2. Wow, that's a really interesting and insightful comment, Sarah. I don't think it's an uncommon thing to get all excited about a new way of being and bend too far one way before you come back to being more centred. I've certainly done it before.

      I have my idealised French girl too; knowing her makes me feel happy but I am not entirely her. I love that you think of your 20% as an indulgence rather than junk food. I'm going to borrow that, thank you :)

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    3. I have experienced this in the past as well. What a chic, idealized French women would do/wear/say/behave is often too far apart from, not just Millennials, but many older ladies and men in my old office that I felt as if I was being too uptight and proper within the casual office culture. It was difficult to establish and maintain good rapport with colleagues without "lowering" my standards. It was the tough case of being one's unique self confidently, yet without being labeled the outsider.

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  9. By the way, Fiona, I love your sunglasses in the picture!

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    1. Thanks Amy! They are low-mid priced ones, but I love them so much I think I would like to get a pair of the classic Ray Ban aviators at some stage.

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  10. I've heard Caroline de Maigret interviewed several times, and I think she would say that she isn't chic but that she has style. She has talked about not being conventionally pretty and about finding her own look. I think she would be 100% on board with 80/20.
    French chic/style isn't about being formal all the time. The streets here are filled with girls in ripped jeans and trainers. But they never look like they just don't care: they never cross the line into sloppy. Makeup tends to be natural, but sometimes you'll see an extreme cat eye or bold lips. Why not! The thing is, you rarely see both at the same time--it's your 80/20 model. Also, there's a quality-over-quantity mentality (which is fading thanks to fast fashion), so they usually buy one good piece rather than multiple cheap versions; that means they go for the one that will hold up for several years, which tends to be the classic choice.

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    1. Thank you for your wonderful comment, and it certainly rings true for me too :)

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  11. Personally, I have come to the conclusion that there are two kinds of bad taste. First kind is all good, adding personality to our lives. There's no harm in wearing cheap perfume you really like, choosing to treat yourself with candy instead of cheese and Belgian chocolate, or loving gardening or some other hobby where you get dirty and dress accordingly. I think such things give the vibe of authenticity, confidence and that one isn't trying too hard but enjoying life.
    Then there's the other kind of "fun" that really tends to drag one's character down even though we think it's harmless fun (usually, others see what such things do to us way before we do). I mean things like gossiping, getting drunk, dressing grossly inappropriately for a serious event etc.

    To me, being chic is not copycatting a cookie cutter style, but being a person with a good judgement and balance. Not punishing and micromanaging oneself with trying to adhere to rigid and often arbitrary "rules" but expressing one's true love for finer things in life.

    -Sara K-

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    1. I agree heartily to all that you have shared, Sara, as this is precisely how I feel about bad tastes as well. Truly bad tastes are glaring and usually obnoxious; personal quirks needn't be that.

      For instance, forcing oneself to drink wine, eat croissants and wear flats just because they are comsidered chic, despite wanting a beer, bagels with cream cheese and Mary Jane shoes (better support and less heel slippage) is living inauthentically. There is no joy in that in the long run.

      Employing good discernment in all aspects of life regardless of whether something is deemed chic or not is, in my book, living the truly genuine, stylish life.

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    2. Well said, Sara, I love that you said chic is having good judgement and balance. And you're right, some 'bad taste' things are fun and add personality, whereas the others you mentioned are not appealing at all.

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    3. Natalie - discernment is another wonderful quality to cultivate over time. Bravo!

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  12. I am known as being reserved and intelligent. I enjoy style (not necessarily fashion) and put a lot of effort into dressing and taking care of myself. I don't think anyone would describe me as frivolous or quirky. So, I really enjoy the reaction I get when I admit to being hooked on Ladies of London, The Housewives of Any City and books by Sophie Kinsella (I think the Shopaholic series is hysterical). It would be difficult, if not very boring, to be all work and no play. As I mature (I am 67), I plan to explore more "fun" things while maintaining my reserved quality. I rather like that my persona is reserved 80% of the time with a 20% chance to take people by surprise.

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    1. I'm the same I think Kristien, as your 80/20 description. I love Sophie Kinsella too :)

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  13. Another thought provoking article. And I especially enjoyed reading all of the comments. Fiona, you are very good at stimulating thoughtful conversation. We are all works in progress.
    ps my adopted-from-a-shelter-cat is reading over my shoulder and is wondering what all the fuss is about - for all cats have the perfect balance :)

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    1. I know Lara! The ladies who visit this blog are the most wonderful group of people, and I always enjoy the comments too.

      Sweet puss, give him/her a hug from me :)

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  14. It really is about being authentic. I love pearls, beautiful scarves, gorgeous handbags, etc. Many have described my style as "classic". I frequently listen to classical music in my car - but it's when I'm by myself (my teenagers revolt!). I don't listen to it to be "chic". I just like it. At the same time, I indulge in my deep love of Coca-Cola and the true joy I get from watching my tacky TV shows (like the Housewives and the Kardashians). Maybe it's 80/20. I don't know. I do know that it's me being me. Do I want to be the best version of myself? Of course. However, we only have one life to live. We need to find joy and happiness wherever and whenever we can!
    Best & Bisous,
    Michelle from Simply Santa Barbara

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    1. So true, Michelle - being authentic to yourself, that's what it all comes down to.

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  15. This was a wonderful read Fiona! Now, when my "lazy Mrs. Shockley" appears I simply talk to her. I tell her no we must continue on the path. I know you want a break but we must continue. And every time I feel this way I always run into someone while running errands.

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    1. That's the best response to your own resistance, Mrs Shockley! I will try it myself, thank you :)

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  16. I always love your point of view - thank you. I choose interesting over bland too - not that I think Grace Kelly is bland, but I feel bland if I go 'too chic'.

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  17. Great post Fiona, and I loved reading the comments. I feel sometimes a little like a split personality. I read a book once called Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? And I thought, why can't I be both? I love a classic, refined, lovely, beautiful style, and I also love sparkly, fun, and slightly tacky things too. Like your other readers commented, it's these things that make us each unique and interesting.

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    1. I agree Deborah - I am both as well :) You come across as elegant and refined and I can tell you are great fun also.

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Merci for your comment. Wishing you a chic day!

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