‘Perfection is not the goal’
Denise Duffield-Thomas
I’ve often wanted to write a post about my whole life, not
just the chic part. I’ve never felt
brave enough to share though, because I thought it might break your spell of me
(haha).
But the favourite posts I’ve read of other bloggers is when
they show me ‘behind the scenes’ and I can see that we are all the same
underneath. I thought that you might not
think I was chic if you saw some of the things I’m writing about today. But I want you to know, you can be exactly as
you are and a chic person if you want
to be.
Saying you can never do ‘whatever’ to be chic means there is
that insidious goal of perfection hanging over you. And that’s what we rebel against in my
opinion. So I want to show you that I am
imperfect and wouldn’t have it any other way.
Even though I write about and adore all things chic, I am
not chic 100% of the time. And nor do I
want to be. I believe we can embrace all
facets of our beautiful selves without trying to fit into a labelled box.
Many a time I might be doing/saying/eating something and my husband
laughs ‘if only your readers could see you now’ or ‘put that on your chic
blog’. Him saying that doesn’t bother me
at all because I know he is a person who only wants the best for me and I like
that we can josh each other without either of us being overly sensitive.
I also like that I am not a one-dimensional chic doll who
has one facial expression and one set of French-style clothes to wear. Even though I am ‘mostly’ Francais and chic, there are
other parts of me too…
I am secretly a cowgirl who enjoys country music and would
happily live in a tiny country town where the entertainment was playing pool in
a bar on a Saturday night.
Laughing is one of life’s great joys and I love toilet
humour and terrible television shows like Benidorm. I also adore Californication and more
recently Ray Donovan. I have many
Kardashian series on dvd (the earlier ones are more fun). I also have Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica among my bad taste dvd
collection.
I love to feel comforted by old television programmes so you
will find box sets of Cheers, The Love Boat, Kate and Allie, Beverly Hills
90210 and Melrose Place at our place.
None of these things you will find in a how to be chic
manual and I wouldn’t expect them to be.
But neither do I believe you should give up your quirks and guilty
pleasures (and why should they be called guilty anyway?) to fit an ideal.
I want us to have permission to love what we love and be
happy with that. No, I might not shout
it from the rooftops but I’m not ashamed either. We all have our own unique view on the world
and I think that’s a good thing. All my
so-called guilty pleasures are what shape me, along with the circumstances in
my life and my thoughts on those circumstances.
So, now I’ve shown you my cards, won’t you share with me
your craziest ‘nuance’? I dare you, and
please don’t leave me sitting out on this branch alone!
Hi Fiona, I loved Beverley Hills 90120 and Melrose Place! I also occasionally indulge in a french custard tart after grocery shopping whilst sitting in the car. KAT :)
ReplyDeleteOops 90210
DeleteYay KAT!
ReplyDeleteI also love country music and love watching Gogglebox here in the UK, which is just watching other people watch telly and the crazy comments they make!
ReplyDeleteI love that you are REAL, Fiona. Thank you for the reminder that none of us need to be perfect in order to be chic! :)
ReplyDeleteAs a New Yorker I drop the F* bomb way too much -- trying to curb it, but every once in a while it's the only word that gets the point across!
ReplyDeleteWell done, Fiona! Where would we be if we didn't have our little quirks and faults and humanity?! I love monster movies, the dumber the better. I have been known to make a supper out of popcorn and a chocolate bar. And I constantly struggle with being more pleasant in the car, because I can terribly impatient and that seems to be where it shows the most! So here's to embracing our foibles while we still work to be the best versions or ourselves. :)
ReplyDeleteDays of our Lives (a terrible US soap). and no one would believe it.
ReplyDeleteLove your honesty Fiona! Hubby and I get sucked into the Bachelor series, although I complain about how fake it is haha. I think all of those exotic locales appeal.
ReplyDeleteCheers
Rita
I love it Fiona! I'm not very "graceful" when encountering a rude driver and I may say something embarrassingly rude when I am driving, albeit in my car where no one can hear me ... but still, I hate when I do that! I live with L.A. traffic for goodness sake!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have a monstrous sweet tooth and have been known to eat incredibly hide-worthy foods, ha!
We are all of us imperfect because we are human. Life would be incredibly boring with perfection.
Wabi sabi.
xx, D.
I'm fairly certain all those so-called chic French women are hot messes too; they're just better at hiding it from the Francophiles reporting on them. I bet we all have a pair of pet-hair-covered sweats we slob around in, or eat potato chips straight of the bag, or have been seen in public with greasy hair and dropped hems. Perfect doesn't exist - it's enough to try. I think you've crossed into the pas chic category when your slobby moments become your norm and you don't try to be chic anymore.
ReplyDeletei think it's during the most difficult times in my life that i rely heavily on the simple but beautiful things i love. hot baths, long walks, gardening, a simple dinner, things like that lift me up. i've never considered myself chic but i do recognize it in others such as yourself. my guilty tv pleasure would have to be TMZ. is that a program you get? it's a total hollywood gossip show!
ReplyDeleteThere is a reality TV show on the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders that I literally cannot tear myself away from. Also, I keep seeing old episodes of Dynasty and I'm completely intrigued with the 80's glamour! I would say that Daily Mail is probably my worst daily habit of all. I've tried to quit before.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, what a tonic all these wonderful comments are. I can't stop laughing at them, mostly because I recognise them all in myself. They remind me I have plenty more to add to my list: stuffing my face in the car, enjoying The Bachelor, getting completely addicted to English reality series The Only Way is Essex, snack food as a meal, gossip websites that leave me feeling hollow in the head yet I go back for more. Too many to mention really!
ReplyDeleteYou guys are so much fun, thanks for playing along. And if you remember more terrible things, please fess up. I'll be waiting here with my bag of Pineapple Lumps and a mechanical arm delivering them to my mouth.
Mine is ordering spicy KFC beside in Bangkok because they deliver:) I've toned it down to once in a blue moon instead of weekly. Then there's the Big Bang Theory tv series. I can't wait to have season 8! Oh and I love reading celebrity diets. After I finished reading the diets then I lounge around way to long feeling depleted, haha! I think I mentioned before but snacking on sour cream and chives potato chips late at night.
ReplyDeleteBrave girl...I have enjoyed reading your blog over the past year or so and wondered if you had little 'imperfections'. Mine are that I enjoy a drop of cask wine (not a dirt cheap one) Jeans are worn most days as I spend a LOT of time sitting with grandchildren (7), gardening, cooking and being amazing. Time is spent on being elegant in that I wear makeup every day, my outfit is coordinated, nails painted and hair is groomed. Diets are out the window, menopaused without drugs and the extra kilos embraced without shame. At 61 I feel healthy, fit and chic.
ReplyDeleteWell, I bought tickets to go see a roller derby playoff game this weekend and that seems to be making people laugh at me LOL. Hasn't every woman secretly wanted to be on a roller derby team? Love this post - thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I appear reserved and my friends think I am quite stylish, they don't know that I go to the cinema to watch silly movies by myself. Or that I hide candy bars so I don't have to share them. And I am hooked on The Real Housewives of NYC. Now there is a group of chic and wealthy ladies who are a hot mess.
ReplyDeleteonce I'm behind the wheel I swear...using v bad words. I'm not proud of it. I'm sure a chic French woman overwhelmed by the worst Parisian traffic wouldn't succumb to my Anglo-Saxon outbursts.
ReplyDeleteSuzi
Although I try to eat chic foods for the majority of the time, I just cannot resist kettle chips or sour candies! I also watch a lot of reality television - Newlyweds is one of my all time favorites! But I also watch really bizarre, crazy shows such as My Strange Addiction or I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Haha!
ReplyDeleteFiona,
ReplyDeletePineapple lumps are so addictive especially when you eat them straight from the fridge! (just a tip for you)
KAT ��
Kat, I need a way to make them LESS addictive, not more...
ReplyDeleteLove the guilty pleasures being spilled here - cask wine, delivery KFC, more reality tv, celebrity diets, swearing in traffic, it's all so delicious!
I have 2 young and very rambunctious boys so my house is never like I would like it to be. I also live in Wyoming and enjoy the small western town atmosphere. I also like Demolition Derbies.
ReplyDeleteDemolition Derbies! You're a legend, Ericka :)
DeleteHa ha Fiona! Thanks for being real and honest! I love going to superhero/blockbuster movies with my grown kids . . . not chic but lots of fun. I also occasionally buy a big box of Milk Duds (do you have those? An American chewy "chocolaty" candy) and eat them all myself. They're very sweet and afterwards I feel pretty yucky and don't crave them for a while. Binging on them seems to make it easier for me to stick to chic salads, fruits, grilled meats, good bread, and unsweetened café au lait for several weeks without cheating!
ReplyDeleteI've had Milk Duds, Karen!
DeleteI am shamelessly addicted to French fries and will eat them just about anywhere and sometimes as the main course for lunch. I am also a Starbucks aficionado and often can be see running about with the famous green, paper cup in my hand. So very un-chic.
ReplyDeleteLove it, Debora :) I'm a fried potato fan too - hot or cold, and I feel treated when I have a Starbucks, even though they're a dirty chain.
Deleteperfect people are really annoying. Aiming for 'plus chic' is a much better goal, with way less pressure. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteSharon
Haha, 'toilet humour lover plus chic' - it has such a ring to it :)
DeleteSometimes my husband says he is going to write a tell-all book, 'behind the scenes'. It would be a horrible read!!!