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| Mum and I visited Sydney last month and it was fabulous, as you'd imagine! |
Bonjour dear friends,
I am so pleased to be back from my blogging break, and thank
you for the lovely comments and emails I received since I was last here. I really, really appreciate them.
Something I’ve been thinking about lately is that I’ve
always told myself I’m a quiet person who values their own company, and it’s
true. But hearing the phrase recently ‘fear
of being seen’ or ‘fear of visibility’ really rang true for me. When I first started this blog I only told
two people about it and they were my only readers for quite a while. That felt comfortable to me.
Then others found me, as we do, by searching around the
internet for our passions, hobbies and interests, and even though readers of
this blog are nothing but the kindest, loveliest and most fun people I’ve ever
had the good fortune to interact with, I felt afraid when my blog got too
big. And it’s not even that big! I saw the stat counters of how many people
read each day and how many page views and it freaked me out.
Instead of having my blog be a fun and happy place to be, I
felt responsible and under pressure. I
know, I know, it was all me, and completely unnecessary. But the mind is a powerful thing. So I stopped my blog. Then after a few years I restarted it because
I really missed it. And even though my
readership had dropped off because of my
break, it still felt too open. I never
considered taking the blog down though so it can’t have been that, so just what
was I afraid of?
It’s something I am actively working on, working out why I
want to hide away sometimes. It feels
like self-imposed exile because it is.
It’s the fear of people thinking what I’ve written is shallow or
dumb. When really, it’s not the law that
someone reads my blog, it’s an option they can take or not take. Just as I have the option to feel happy
writing on my blog for fun, or feel frozen with anxiety over writing/not
writing.
I know. Nutter! So I’m putting my negative mind chatter to
one side, and look forward to continuing the sharing of thoughts and conversation
on living a chic life. I hope you will
join me.
See you Friday!