The more time I spend on this earth, the more I realise I can please myself and be myself. I don’t need to pretend to want great things and I don’t need to fret that I’ve never had or probably never will have a high-powered career.
I’ve come to realise that’s not what I’m about. I enjoy a quiet and simple life. Ever since I left school I’ve always worked at ‘normal’ office jobs. I didn’t attend University because I didn’t really know what I wanted to study, and I didn’t want to go just for the sake of it. So I started my first full-time job at 18 (although I had already been working part-time after school and in school holidays since I was 14) and have been working ever since.
My husband and I now own a small retail business which we started almost seven years ago. We have decided for now we are content with one shop and a simple online presence. We’ve talked about it and agreed that opening a second or subsequent shops wouldn’t necessarily make us any happier.
It’s all about balance. By running one shop between us we have the flexibility during the day to do things such as run errands, go to the gym or yoga, take a walk, or just disappear for a while if we want to.
In terms of a social life, I’ve had my times of going out a lot especially when single. But even then I loved nothing more than to be at home with the fire lit, knitting or reading. I knew I had to go out to meet someone though for they don’t come knocking at your door, so I did what I had to (and actually met the perfect man for me, now my husband, in a bar).
It’s not just about what I do for a job, or socialising though, it’s everything in my life. I happily share one very ordinary car and enjoy creative and frugal pursuits at home. Expensive hobbies scare me.
Even though I enjoy the dream of living in or travelling to Paris or New York City, I love living in New Zealand and can’t see myself living anywhere else. And for travel, I know it will come, I’m happy to forego it now, in this phase of my life where we are running a business.
If it sounds like I’m putting off happiness, I’m not. Every day I feel grateful and satisfied and thankful that I am where I am. I enjoy small luxuries frequently and make my own happiness. I collect simple pleasures such as going to bed early.
My Mum always said ‘bored people are boring’ when we complained of having nothing to do. I guess I took that to heart as now there aren’t enough hours in the day for all the things I love to do – reading, writing, sewing, knitting, cooking, pottering, movie-watching – as well as living my everyday life in a thoughtful and stylish manner.
I no longer feel I have to apologise for not being a faster and more driven person. I am content to live my own life, at my own pace.
That's the greatest luxury of all I think: living a life custom-designed for me.
Image
Your life sounds pretty wonderful to me. We live a pretty simple life too and enjoy being at home mostly. My children are grown now, so I have been traveling more in the summer than I ever have but none the less there is no place like home! xxoo :)
ReplyDeleteso well put fiona. we too have owned our own business for over 20 years now. we never expanded b/c we didn't want employees and our time was more valuable to us than having more money. larry was able to coach every single team our 3 boys were ever on. we taught them to ski, swim, play tennis, golf, camp, you name it. i wouldn't change or trade my life for anything. i love that your contentment with your life is so satisfying. it's contagious you know.
ReplyDeletexo
janet
It's all about balance indeed. I adore the simple life - especially
ReplyDeletemy long walks in the green countryside - living side by side with nature.
Lovely post Fiona, I have the same opinion you do...I never went to university either, I've been working since high school. I needed to read your post today, as I was just lamenting to Hubs this morning again about a (work) move that fell through earlier this year...I was asked about it on the weekend by someone and the whole thing got me perturbed again...I know I have way more than most people do, and I'm grateful for that!
ReplyDeletep.s. congrats on the success of your business!
LOVE LOVE LOVE! ;) I feel the same way...it's fun to go dancing with my girlfriends every once in a while..but most of the time, I love nothing more than going to bed early with a book. This is a luxury I've been giving myself every night...since it was harder to fall asleep right after studying/being on the computer.
ReplyDeleteThere's a beautiful garden free to the public 5 minutes walking-distance from my apartment...so yesterday, I had a self-indulgent day, and spent an hour and a half in the garden, just walking around, discovering new corners. I found a quiet corner, where I could just hear the birds and trees...and it was just lovely...I read a little bit...but mostly I just sat and took it all in. ;) The rest of the day was spent reading magazines, which have been sitting there neglected forever...and watching a movie. Perfect way to unwind before another busy week of school...people are so stressed out and "driven"..and sometimes I wonder if I should be too...but it seems like being stressed out and freaking out all the time, just made me feel miserable...and I'm more content now, and my grades are even better. ;) I just choose to be in a good mood I guess...and realize that things are not as important as we make them out to be...and even if they are...stressing over them doesn't help very much...
This is such a beautiful post. It's obvious that you have found real contentment. That's something so many people don't have in our hurried "more,more,more" world. Happiness really lies in the simple little things we do every day--not the big expensive trips, cars, etc. Many people don't realize that though. They don't understand about finding that balance of work and play and just enjoying the life they have in each little moment. Thanks for making us think about these things today.
ReplyDeleteThe more I see of life the more I think that the simple way of living is the richest.
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking yesterday about the phrase 'a small life' (as used by Meg Ryan in the movie You've Got Mail) and having many similar thoughts to you. Thank you for posting them so eloquently.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like the post of an incredibly happy woman. I wish that everyone was able to reach this point. Life is to be lived on your own terms, at your own pace. Bravo Fiona!
ReplyDeleteDearest Fiona,
ReplyDeleteWhy pretend anything in life? You will be only cheating yourself in the end. Just be content, enjoy the little things in life as there lies happiness. Not chasing the big things that 'others' have, for that does only bread greed and is not fulfilling at all.
Being healthy and being together as a couple is already the biggest blessing one can think of. Read my post from today where one of my paternal great-grandmothers lived the life of a widow for 32 years! Comparing ourselves with her we must admit how blessed we are!
Love to you,
Mariette
I love the way you describe your life. I feel as though I've had a bigger life than I ever dreamed because I live in England when I was born and lived the first 35 years of my life in Oklahoma. I've also travelled to places I never hoped to see. But I think the main way in which I have a big life is to try to be open to new experiences - try different foods, visit new shops, make new friends. In every other way, I try to have a small life and I consider that the main luxury of being retired. I think being self-employed gives you huge benefits that my 'career' (slave job) never would, and I envy you that. My 'small life' is about cooking at home, walking to do my errands, wearing the clothes I already own, getting books at the library, hanging my laundry to dry, reading, sewing and crafting as hobbies and enjoying my own home fire, much as you describe. Mind, I still need to work on going to bed early! What a great post you've written.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a kindred spirit it amazes me sometimes. I just wish we could get together once a week for tea and really have some chats.
ReplyDeleteWe strive to keep it simple here too--and lately keep looking for ways to make life even simpler.
Coming home from 2 weeks in a 3rd world country has also put many things into perspective--some things I am still sorting out.
xxBliss
Your post resonates with so many people because you "get it". You are content and realize that life is the everyday and you can choose to make it how you want to live. It's admirable and inspiring! Your life sounds lovely just as it is.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully worded and well thought out. Thank you for such a lovely post.
ReplyDeleteLovely post! I think the key to happiness or contentment (call it what you will) is to be grateful and happy with what you already have. If you have not mastered this, no matter how much you `have' you will always want more. And it really is the little things that matter, the daily pleasures, such as a good cup of coffee and crochet by the fire - bliss!
ReplyDeleteI am so inspired by your article. Just lovely! My wishes for your continued happiness.
ReplyDeleteThis was such a lovely post. We do so often lose sight of what really matters in the pursuit of something that may or may not make us happy. Such a good reminder to be grateful for what we have, right now, in this moment.
ReplyDeleteSilly question, but do you have something like Thanksgiving in New Zealand?
Beautiful attitude and I feel the same as you do. I think that it's time to stop all the comparing and striving for things we don't really want all to create a certain "image". Better to live as you describe so beautifully here...simply, honestly, with joy and contentment. I wish you a beautiful life!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a wonderful post and I totally agree with you on finding happiness in the smaller things and not feel the pressure to be faster and more driven, as you put it. Although I do have a college degree, I have an ordinary office job and I'm happy with that for now. I'd rather focus my priorities on other things in life. My husband and I drive an old car, we own a small house and our furniture is a very personal mix of old and new, and we like it that way. We don't need any fancy, expensive stuff. People used to ask how we could afford going to Greece on holiday every year, to which we would sometimes respond by asking them how they could afford buying a new car every other year and have a big house and all new furniture. It's all about choosing what's right for you. Thank you Fiona for reminding me of this!
ReplyDeleteI agree - a beautiful post from the heart. I discovered your blog a few weeks ago and couldn't stop reading it because it is so authentic. Would love to sit down for a coffee with you and Janet from a Gardeners Cottage x
ReplyDeleteYou are so right! So many people live to work instead of working to live, and they miss out on all the joy and beauty that surrounds them if they only took the time to stop and look.
ReplyDeleteTo me the greatest luxury is the time to enjoy the small things like sitting in my living room with a cup of tea and a good book with my kitten (Gracie) basking in the sun.
Every year at New Years I like to light some candles, make a nice dinner and just sit and think about what I have accomplished in the last year and what I want to accomplish in the next year, and as I have become older I have realized that the memories that stick are the good times with friends and the small moments, not how much money I have made.
That was a beautiful post! Hope you are recovering from your move!
ReplyDeleteYou are fortunate that you are in tune to your heart and that you are living life honestly. That is a lesson that many take years to discover...
ReplyDeleteSomehow it doesn't surprise me that you are comfortable in your own skin, that classic chic femmes trait which you do so stylishly.
Hope that you'll share some snippets of your new home soon.
I think this is a wonderful post Fiona, and I couldn't agree more. well-said! I hope to live a live custom-designed for me as well.
ReplyDeleteI think I have been coming to the same revelations a little by little as well as I take time off between graduation and the next thing which will probably be unemployment.
and I've heard a variation of that quote from your Mom.."only boring people get bored."
also, I wonder if it would be possible to take a look at your retail store's online presence?
~ lenna
What a wonderful post Fiona! You truly know what makes a "good life" and you are living it!
ReplyDeleteFiona, this is brilliant! Your understanding of yourself and the life you want to lead has saved you years of wasted time and anxiety. I love it! I've learned a lot and understand myself better after reading your post.
ReplyDeleteEmilyatheart from alovelyinconsequence.blog
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I loved reading how you live a small life. I think there are quite a lot of us out there.
ReplyDeleteJessica, no we do not have Thanksgiving in New Zealand, or anything similar.
Oh I'm with you, I'm 47, hubs is 39 and we don't even want to travel anymore, I just love being at home now.
ReplyDeleteI'm really content and have no goals and no aspirations, sometimes I feel a bit odd, so it's great to read that there are others who feel the same way.
I needed this today.... Thank you!
ReplyDeleteLiving in Paradise-- NZ-- has its distinct advantages, surely? :)
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI'm new to your blog and I'm thoroughly enjoying all of your past posts! I really needed to hear this message today. I am a life-long Californian, and "the small life" is just not part of our culture . . . but it IS my life! It is comforting to know I'm not the only person content with the simple, lovely things of life, without feeling the need to acquire and experience more, more, more. Thank you, Fiona.
ReplyDeleteKaren, it's hard enough here, I can't even imagine how difficult it is to go against the grain in The Land of Big!
ReplyDeleteShall we start a Small Life movement???
Nice post . Can't help but notice that no men responded ( ok... how to be chic wouldn't be a big draw). Echoes my sentiments exactly. Self employed so have always had autonomy - operated in a very image and acquisitive environment ( USA - Miami .. yikes) but always worked towards achieving more free time and complete autonomy. 50 ish - the time is now. It is time for that S-L-Movement.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, thanks for your thoughtful comment, and congratulations on living your life YOUR way. I'd love to be able to make some big decisions in my 50s about slowing down more.
ReplyDelete