How to Seduce

Yesterday I had a hair appointment to keep. In the almost three hours I was there (I know) I read a lot of magazines. Thankfully they had plenty of new Australian Vogues and Marie Claires. One magazine, Grazia, had a great article on -

How to Seduce a Man

Well, I had to take notes. All the suggestions were so good, I thought they would benefit me in day-to-day life and also, even though I am already married, with my husband. You see, they aren’t all just about seduction, but how to be attractive generally. I really love articles like that.

I wrote down the headings, and now I’m going to remember, paraphrase and add my own notes.

Wear red. This colour makes you more attractive to men. I too often notice how nice a woman looks when they wear red. It makes your skin look a little flushed perhaps, in a good way. Whatever colour you wear (on your top half at least), picks up the colour on your face. That’s why pinks and peaches are so flattering as well, and perhaps could be a less intense option for a top. And why black is not ideal, even though we all love wearing it – it picks up black circles under the eyes!

Show 40% of skin. I think this was aimed more at dressing up for an evening out. 40% is the ideal amount. Anything less and you risk sinking into dowdy territory, any more and you will end up seducing your man in a less chic way, and showing yourself off as being very available. It probably would work for daytime too. A French women is famous for showcasing just one part of herself, whether it's great legs, toned arms or a silky-smooth decolletage. If every single part is covered up you wouldn't really notice, but imagine a women in well-fitted jeans and slender-cut t-shirt, that when she turns around shows a back-revealing detail. Ooh la la.

Be well-rested. This article claimed that men were shown pictures of women from two groups – one group had plenty of sleep and one group had no sleep. Of course they chose the well-rested group as more attractive. I can’t argue with that. And for heavens sake don’t wear a black top on a day when you didn’t get enough sleep!

Smile 35 times an hour. Women who smiled every 1.7 minutes were considered more attractive than those who smiled less. Does that seem like a lot of smiling? I remember from my (second) wedding day I had sore cheeks the next day from smiling for photos and well-wishers. So perhaps a little less smiling than that. The charity shop near me has the most pinch-faced old bat behind the counter. Even when I am dropping off really nice donations she can’t force a smile out. I bought a book from there a few days ago and she handed me my book and change and I actually waited until she made eye contact with me and then smiled at her and waited for the return smile... it eventually came, a tight, miser-ish little smile. Geesh, they don't cost anything love. I feel a bit mean about 'making' her smile, but it was fun. And on the other side of the scale, people I've met who I often think 'aren't they just so nice' are the ones that smile, a lot.

Touch him subtly. When you’re talking to a man, whether it’s someone you met in a bar, your boyfriend or your husband, make a point to subtly touch him to make a point. Perhaps on the arm or shoulder. Not too much though, don't be one of those women (an over-toucher Seinfeld would probably call her). I think non-bedroom touching is very important in a relationship. A quick shoulder-rub going past your man when he's sitting down, a touch on the hand, quick kiss on the neck.

Wear a spicy-floral fragrance. Apparently you will appear 5kg / 10 pounds thinner. And who doesn’t want that? I was pleased to see that Chanel No. 5 has spicy components as well as powdery florals. There are many other spicy-florals that aren’t as heavy as straight out oriental perfumes. Dolce Vita I know is one, from my days at Dior, as is the original Dior Addict in the dark blue bottle. One of my husband’s friends used to give me a hug when he saw me and exclaim in raptures whenever I wore Dior Addict. After he met his wife, he did it a few times and then stopped. I think she had words with him that she'd rather he went into raptures over her instead. I don’t blame her!

Be charitable and a better person. Even if they don’t know it, men are always sizing up a potential female partner as the mother of his children. If he sees that you are a kind person he is likely to think more of you. I’ve read often that men want their women to be a better version of themselves. They put us up on a pedestal and look to us as the moral guider. That’s a tall ask I know. It also makes me try and be a better person. Again, in my observations of other women, isn’t it a not-nice shock to discover that someone you admired and thought to be lovely ended up being a bit sneaky or mean-spirited? I don’t want to be one of those women. I want my husband to think I am saint-like, heavenly and kind-hearted.

Talk to him with head slightly tilted forward. Something about looking up at him and being slightly submissive. It sounds quite hard to do without looking silly. What I do know though, when you see aggressive women on tv (likely in a reality show like Top Model) they talk with their head held back and up, and look arrogant and aggressive. They don’t exactly come across as feminine or even remotely likeable.

Wear a little makeup. Finally, the article says men may profess to like women a la naturale, with no makeup at all. The study shows another story though. The women with scrubbed clean faces were rated as less attractive as women who were very lightly made up. The key point was a contrast between features and skin. So mascara, lipstick, blush and defined brows are important. What I think it is that men don't like is makeup put on with a trowel and spider-leg eyelashes.

What would you add to this list? Care to refute anything? I would love to hear your comments. Wanting to be feminine and have men find you attractive is quite controversial in our modern Western society. But isn’t that what French women have been doing forever? I know it’s not for everyone, but for me, I love talking about all this girly stuff.