Day 28: Don’t talk about being chic
Nothing is less chic than someone constantly speaking or complaining about their appearance or some other aspect of their life. Practice the art of mystery. If someone compliments you on a top you are wearing, say ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m glad you like it’. You do not want to say ‘oh, I’ve had this for ages, but it’s getting a bit old now’ or ‘I just bought it today, it was on sale’.
I had birthday drinks with a friend recently, who in detail explained to the entire group how her new diamond earrings given to her by her boyfriend came from a cut price place AND she got them cheaper because one of them was bent. Now I’m all for a bargain, but it’s for you to know and them never to find out. Whenever I see her in her diamond earrings, do you think I’m going to remember ‘Cut Price Discount Store’? Or if she had only said they were a lovely gift, I would look at them and think ‘lucky girl’.
Also, do not in conversation bring up your current diet or insecurities. You are only drawing attention to parts of you that you don’t want people to see or know about. By pointing them out you are shining a spotlight on them. Much better to glide into a room confidently and serenely, and make conversation with people by being interested in them and asking questions.
Of course I am doing exactly what I am saying not to do on this blog, but this, along with your closest girlfriends in a private setting, are the exceptions. In all other cases French-style mystique is the goal.
I used to do that, when I got a compliment, tell people enthusiastic that I have found this gorgeous blouse at the thrift store, just because I like them to find the same bargains. But now I just say thank you, it's better this way.
ReplyDeleteI have been guilty too of not just saying "thank you". That was before my inner French girl came to stay.
ReplyDeleteI agree that private, chic details need not be advertised to the world but only shared with the closest of friends. Isn't it amazing to observe others, especially when you have made the conscious decision to have an air of mystery, indiscreetly blabbing all sorts of personal information to any and all who will listen? I have learned that most people really don't care if I say much at all as long as they get to talk about themselves.
Long live "je ne sais quoi"!!
Curious that your friend advertised about the cut price diamonds....perhaps she felt guilty at receiving such a lovely gift?
ReplyDeleteI have been complaining about my weight of late around the blogosphere so good timing on this post Fiona!
I'll try and stop :)
Fiona,
ReplyDeleteI am guilty of the earring thing. I sometimes feel guilty for having nice things - usually gifts from my husband. I try to downplay their quality in order to avoid making someone feel bad. Or even worse, I won't wear or use something because I am worried about what certain people will think. It's silly to try to assume you know what other people are thinking about you. You can never know so why try?
I need to be proud of the things my husband worked so hard to give me and think about how he would feel if I downplayed his gifts in front of others.
Thank you for bringing this to our attention. I will stop doing this today!
Anon and Vintage Dreamer, I constantly have to remind myself not to be a blabber. I'm getting better though. And I agree that you notice others being indiscreet when you are making an effort to seem calm and mysterious.
ReplyDeleteHostess and Adrienne, I never thought of the guilt thing.
Hostess, it seems we're all trying to do something about our weight at the moment. I think the blogosphere is a little different, we're often here for the same reason, to better our lives and share our motivation with others.
I have also probably been guilty of this as well..
ReplyDeleteand I've also probably been guilty of the other extreme of saying too little..
I used to be too shy and couldn't take compliments well because they drew too much attention to myself.. but I'm starting to get better :)
~lenna
I used to have guilt. Being a single military income family we would get weird looks for buying French champagne or splurging on something really nice. I felt guilty for having it, and almost began to feel like what people thought mattered. But in the end I realized we've worked hard to save for some of those things, and there is nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've learned that I can get great things at a thrift store, but if someone asks who something is by, I tell them the brand/designer and that's it. How much I spent/saved on it is my own business unless you're a very close friend. (with the exception of finds I blog about!).
never talk to much in general, not to become a sparkling overwhelming glass of German beer!
ReplyDeleteAccurate words and proper manners in life are a hard task to achieve but my main target in the moment.
and yes, do not bore our friends or even our beloved with calories, fat and diet all day long. Moderation is the key to enjoy everything without overpassing the limit.
I am trying hard with it Fiona.
I fake it till I make it
little snob thing, deb from Italy